Boobies and Bottles

I am tired, yet I am sitting here writing this blog. What is the matter with me? I am starting to find less and less time for myself as Ashlee gets bigger and starts to do more things. I guess I forgot about that part of the growth process. LOL! Although, she has been increasingly fussy. Not like she is sick, but she is frustrated and hungry. All she wants to do it eat, she wants to nurse all day, but with 5 teeth new teeth and learning how to use those chompers, nursing has started to become an issue. It isn't just the teeth, it is her hands! She wants to pinch and pull, i try to hold her hands but that just pisses her off. I didn't have these problems with Alee, she weaned herself from me at almost exactly 6 months, with the one feeding in the middle of the night (which I stopped at 8 months since she had yet to sleep through the night until I did so.) Alee also drank from a bottle starting pretty much when she was born because of latching issues, not Ashlee, she hates the bottle and I can count on one hand the amount of bottles she has actually taken. So here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want what is best for Ashlee, but I also want what is best for me. I know plenty of people who bottle feed their kids, I was one of them with Alee after 6 months, my brother was bottle fed and soo many of my friends' babes were/are too, so I am not sure why I am feeling the way that I am about quitting nursing. I bought formula for the first time today, I cried about that decision. Part of that decision was due to the fact that Butters is so small, don't get me wrong, she always has been, but I don't know. I tried to give her a bottle and all she did was scream, she finally took like 3 good chugs and was DONE! She was so pissed when she had realized what she had just done. She screamed and boo hooed. I ended up just nursing her and she fell asleep. I don't intend on quitting nursing all together, at least not yet, one or two bottles a day max. It isn't looking like she is going to allow that right now. 

I know it sounds crazy, but with all of  this, I am feeling like such a failure. It is so hard for me to put my thoughts into words, I just can't explain. Bla... I guess I should just go to bed. Maybe a good night's sleep will give me some clarity.

Nighty Night.